WHAT IS UP WITH ME? Panic attack in the shower? I SOBBED uncontrollably for like a half hour or more and then cried some more in bed. I am so worried about my job. I really don't know if I'll get it back. On top of that, I don't know if teaching is really what I want to do for the rest of my life, and every time I approach that idea with my mother she blows a gasket. I need a man...have one that likes me but I know isn't for me. And I'm scared to let go cause I don't know if I'll ever have it again. I feel like I've lost my faith in God some days, like I'm such an awful person for the things I do, even knowing in the grand scheme of things they aren't that bad, but I wonder...can God possibly still love me if I don't do all the right prayers and the right rituals and all the crap I'm starting to wonder might not be necessary? And I'm feeling so lonely and let go and forgotten by everyone. My birthday was crap cause we did NOTHING and half of my family forgot about it. People are disappearing...I haven't heard from Amy, from Mel, from Stephanie in days. All that matters right now is cleaning my fucking house because now I have to throw a party for my friend that just got engaged to a douche because I'm the "party planner" in our group of friends and have to put on a happy face and pretend like it doesn't bother me. Ugh. FML.

< lj user = "ktbass"> IS THE BEST EVER AND I AM LUCKY SHE LETS ME STAY AT HER HOUSE BECAUSE SHE IS SO AWESOME!

I was watching 'A Baby Story' today and they were manipulating this lady's stomach to try to get her baby to move in her stomach.  LIKE THEY PLAYED WITH HER STOMACH LIKE IT WAS PLAYDOH UNTIL THE BABY WAS WHERE THEY WANTED.  It was so gross.  And then the lady was deliviering and SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER.

God, I hope I'm like doped up out of my MIIIIIIND when I have a kid.

I have jury duty this week.  I have yet to be called in for selection.  I'm sitting here with my laptop being lazy.  It's like the easier $25 a day I've ever made.  And all the money's gonna go into my I-want-a-dog fund.

...my sisters, my mother, my sister's friend and my other sister's boyfriend, and I all head out to Chastain to go to the HEART CONCERT.  The opening act was JOAN JETT.  Sorry for all the caps, it was awesome.

( More awesomeness behind the cut (along with pictoral evidence) )

MANDI: Ohmigod, that dude is so creepy. What the fuck is wrong with him? I don't like looking at him. He's staring at me with his weirdo-eyes.
MELISSA: Um...he's blind.
MANDI: ...

WHAT IS WITH THAT PAPER THING?!?! You have these round chubby cheeks and suck them in like a fish face and stick little rolls of paper in the hollows so that when you puff your cheeks out again blowfish style - WHAM! They fly across the room. 1) YOU ARE LITTERING MY CLASSROOM. 2) You are only advocating your chubby cheeks, which girls will wince slightly at. 3) THIS IS CREEPY. Who does this? You are such an odd kid. I had your twin last semester (pssh yeah I figured out yall are not identical) and while Malcolm was a bugger for a while, he straightened out. WHEN WILL YOU DO THIS TOO????

-Ms. *******

...then saw one of my students at the mall. His faaaaaaaaaaace...it was hilarious.

I will NOT hesitate to give you a zero on  your final if you look over at someone else's paper ONE more time.  Just test me, boy, and see what happens...

I LOVE YOU.  You are like the most kick-ass class ever.  I wish I had had Twilight to read with you this semester instead of last.  And a whole class of on-level freshman making 16 A's, 10 B's, a C and an F?  Pretty awesome, especially when you consider that the F was from a girl who just came into the class last month.  And THREE kids leaving with a 99?  Yeah, i'll say it again.  Awesome.  Love ya.

Ms. *******